Muhasabah Q'A

~Tinta Hati~

6 Rejab 1432H/ 8 Jun 2011

Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahim..


A post mortem entry for Q'A. Dare to read? (^_^)

Hidayah (am not referring to my friends name :D ) also known as ‘guidance’ does have specific time, it come whenever you deserve it, and always set in the most beautiful way.

Taufiq (also not referring to my friends name :D) a.k.a prosperity or strength too does have specific time, and also come whenever you deserve it.

Both are gifts from Him, Allah the almighty.

Well..well..well..

The introduction sounds bit heavy but Im not planning to elaborate more on both words since Im not readily knowledgeable in Arabic language. But the relation between those words and the next texts is undeniable (peace no war..). Keep reading. FYI, both words were widely used in Muslim’s daily life, if you are Muslim, you should know.

Life is short. It is too short. To think of what kind of delegacy you will left once you go down there, do you have the answer?

“Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama”

This is a popular peribahasa Melayu. Please neglect the tiger’s stripe issue. It is a strong motivation at least for Malays so that they leave the world upon their death with good, clean and fragrance name. Is it only all about name? For Muslims, they will understand it deeper. Good and clean name does’nt mean famous, wealthy, powerful, fearless name instead a name that people will still remember for years due to what you ‘give’ to them

Spending time reading and blog hoping tonight, I have realize on something very important, highly essential at least for my future in the after (sounds bit scary, :D..). Whether now it is the ‘time’ set by Him for me or not, it is out of my knowledge but deep down there, I felt the bliss, Alhamdulillah. Once His reminder come across your doors (too many doors huh and mine are colourful.. :D) yet you may still could not realize but once it come across and knock the doors again and again till the doors hardly suffering screaming (is this the right word? Hm..) at you to open it, and finally  you open it (by force) and see what’s the delivery out there. It is a surprise, no doubt.

I’m talking (not talking, only writing..:D) as a blogger (can I called myself as a blogger? ..).

“You (the faithful men and women) are responsible on everything you have, everything you do, everything you write, everything you say..etc..for all of these you will be ask in the judgement day”

Sorry I am addicted to ‘etc’ usage since don’t know. Well this is a very simple Mukmin philosophy dear. Every single thing, you will be asked! And the reality is, ‘This very blog Qalam ‘Aini is under your responsibility Aini..’. It is a big responsibility. Up to now, when I flash back my journey with Q’A, Im hopeless. To think of it, Im speechless.

“seperti melepaskan batuk di tangga..”

That is the phrase circling my mind right now. Honestly I admit that most of the time I treat Q’A as my entertainer only, not my passionate. Allahu Allah. Why you so depress Aini? After all, this is just a small matter dear..There’re thousand bloggers out there who are blogging same like you Aini and most of them utilize their blog for business matters or at least as an open diary. If they have more time, they will update theirs and so are you right? So whats the big problem?

Yes, there is a big problem. From the beginning, this very Q’A neither build for entertainment, business nor to become as an open diary. Not at all. It is a tool for da’wah. And tool for da’wah does not run only at a specific time or once you have leisure time but should running every seconds. Astaghfirullah. One doesn’t have to publicly mention his/her niat on what he/she did instead of keep moving towards the mission. But still I publicly announce this because I am only an ‘insan’. Insan who naturally always forget. Insan who naturally need to be remind. That is who I am. Thats why Im sharing this big problem here, because I would love to be remind. The rest, I would only share with Him and I leave special space for Allah only to know. This is the step for building good relationship with your beloved one.

The real story is, I have just touched with few bloggers.. they are awesome..Masha allah..

A girl who suffer from cancer, could update her blog regularly, almost every day, and most of her writing are about da’wah, striving towards mardhatillah, about knowledges and so on.. Me?

A girl who suffer from leukemia, could share her journey, her treatments, her patient, her sadness and her strength. Every single words would remind the reader to death and the Creator..Me?

Okey, they are able to do so because they are not working and studying as you Aini..

So how about A mom with six childs working as a lecturer from 8 to 6 everyday, could still manage to share knowledges via her blog, and istiqamah doing so at least once a week? Not to forget, she also run a business from home..Me?

A wife who working and studying at the same time, rising small childs, not forget to mention that she leave overseas (no parents, only husband by her side)..but still could update beneficial info for muslimah regularly..Me?

Okey..let analyze myself,

• Am I a Working woman..yes..840 to 540..
• Am I Studying..yes..full time..
• Do I have a Husband..No..
• How about Childrens..absolutely no..
• Taking care of Parents or Sibling..Yes and No..Internally yes but externally no, we are far apart..(oh I miss them)
• Sufferring from acute sickness or disease..no definite answer for this, insya Allah, His plan is the best for me..
• And most important, my knowledges (academically) is in information and technology area. Everyday I will sit and work in front of PC, so what more subterfuges that you could make Aini? No place to run anymore. Allahurabbi..Ighfir zunubi..Muhasabah..

As a results, I now realized that I have been blessed by plenty time compared to those women. Subhanallah. That is clearly mean that sharing and posting in Q'A once a month is not good enough. With only 16 posts a year, it is very bad to count.. yes, I missed 'my all' for Q'A.

‘If you are planning to become a full time da’ie in real life, you should start to do so in this unreal life. Because you have been blessed by skill (even only small skills) in this area Aini, so it is your responsible to give your all in this field.’

Alhamdulillah, insya allah I have found few plans for my beloved Q’A. May Allah ease all this planning. I would like to share those plannings here, but thinking of there’re too much Ive shared ‘about me’ today, I will stop here. I leave it to Allah to judge me and my plan.

Talking about sharing, I would not share everything here, (eventhough naturally I would love to do so for I am also a girl)..but I really mean it, not every single thing..that’s my stand. There’re many women out there blogging about their daily life, their passion, their admire and so on. If what they share is still in syar'ie's frame, there should be no harm but not less who share unnecessary things. For example, sharing that she waking up late, late for solah, sharing dissapointment to someone esp her husbands, parents or even her pets, not clean the house for weeks due to laziness and many more. From my way of thinking those are all too personal to be share publicly. Dont they know this hadeeth, 


Setiap umatku (boleh) diampunkan kecuali mereka yang mendedahkan (dosanya), ada di kalangan yang mendedahkan ini, melakukan suatu dosa di waktu malam, berpagi-pagi sedang Allah menutup keaiban dosa itu, namun tiba-tiba dia mendedahkan seraya berkata :" Wahai fulan, semalam aku lakukan itu dan ini.." maka terhapuslah tutupan tuhannya dan jadilah ia membuka (rahmat) Allah yang (sebelum ini) menutup keaibannya. - Riwayat Al-Bukhari dan Muslim


And I hold a philosophy for myself that;

“a Muslim woman, who dressed and covered up herself with hijab, would also should cover up (hijab) her personal story. She will only revealed what she felt, her emotion, her happiness, her sadness and her all to the righteous person and most of the time only with her beloved Creator. If she really need to do so, she will only do it in a way that could not permitted fitnah.”

Insya allah, only beneficial knowledge would be share here. For you who reading, please make du’a for me so that Allah ease everything for me to become more responsible to Q’A. Thanks for your sweet gift. (^_^)

Q'A: hurm,very the long essay one huh..he~ 

~Tinta 17~

"Oh writer! An Angel watches over all you write. Make your writing meaningful for it will eventually return to you and you will be questioned about what you wrote."

(Saidina Ali ibn Abu Talib)